Using a Song as an Explanation

There is someone that I love and I find it difficult to explain why. I started a song about him a couple of years ago. It's just a chorus and the song is called "Dream". And even though what I have to work with is obviously not a lot, I like what I have and I'm anxious to finish it.

It's one of those cases where the emotions are hard to explain, even though I want to explain them. I have a list of reasons, a list of reasons why I feel the way I do, why I admire the characteristics that I admire, why I am attracted to the features that I'm attracted to, why I want the things I want, and I why I don't want more or less. At least I have my thoughts organized on the matter...somewhat.

Sometimes when you care about somebody it's not just about something that they did or said or something that you expect to get from them. Sometimes it is simply a matter of appreciating how someone makes you feel and recognizing how important that person is to you. And if it's simply a matter of those things, it should be easier to explain.

There are so many factors in this, the majority of which do not make sense to me. How, then, can I break down my thoughts, emotions, and feelings into a list of reasons or a simple explanation? Should I write a song that's twenty minutes long? Should I sell myself short and sacrifice a realistic sense of what I feel in favor of a simplistic rhyming pattern? Or should I make light of the gravity of the situation just so the song flows the right way or has the right appeal?

Human beings can act simple minded sometimes, but we are not simple. We are anything but simple. And as frustrating as it can be, sometimes we are more difficult to explain than we would like or hope for.

~Eliza

The Joy of Lyrics

I love my songs. That may sound arrogant or obnoxious, but it's the truth. If I didn't love them I wouldn't bother writing them and I wouldn't sing them to myself throughout the day because they help me express what I'm feeling. Sometimes, they even help me feel.

My lyrics are myself at my most open hearted and tender moments. Whether anyone listens or cares, no one can take that away from me. The fact is that even if they never bring joy to anyone else they have brought joy to me already. No one else wrote a song based on my thoughts and my exact feelings. As cliche as it sounds that's what makes them special.

I do doubt myself sometimes though. I'll come up with a great idea and be excited about the start I have for a song. As I try to continue it gets harder. And when I start to feel completely blocked I wonder if my ideas or talents are worth the trouble at all. I don't always know how to say what I'm feeling through my lyrics in a way that makes sense. It frustrates me so much when that happens, but even if I can't finish I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I take the time to start a song. At least I saved those first thoughts for later and used them to create a few lines. It's better than creating nothing and having no way of venting or communicating what I have to say. Nothing says failure better than failing to try.

I've put a lot of thought lately into how I want to move forward and how I want to share my songs. I haven't accomplished anything yet, but the point I'm trying to make is that writing the lyrics to a song is a satisfying accomplishment all by itself. I've enjoyed that satisfaction and I enjoy the release it gives me from the tension of bottling up my emotions or letting my emotions control the way that I act. By allowing me to address my own insanity, it helps me find a sense of calm and restfulness in a dangerous and unpredictable world. And that is a very daring accomplishment.

~Eliza