Using a Song as an Explanation

There is someone that I love and I find it difficult to explain why. I started a song about him a couple of years ago. It's just a chorus and the song is called "Dream". And even though what I have to work with is obviously not a lot, I like what I have and I'm anxious to finish it.

It's one of those cases where the emotions are hard to explain, even though I want to explain them. I have a list of reasons, a list of reasons why I feel the way I do, why I admire the characteristics that I admire, why I am attracted to the features that I'm attracted to, why I want the things I want, and I why I don't want more or less. At least I have my thoughts organized on the matter...somewhat.

Sometimes when you care about somebody it's not just about something that they did or said or something that you expect to get from them. Sometimes it is simply a matter of appreciating how someone makes you feel and recognizing how important that person is to you. And if it's simply a matter of those things, it should be easier to explain.

There are so many factors in this, the majority of which do not make sense to me. How, then, can I break down my thoughts, emotions, and feelings into a list of reasons or a simple explanation? Should I write a song that's twenty minutes long? Should I sell myself short and sacrifice a realistic sense of what I feel in favor of a simplistic rhyming pattern? Or should I make light of the gravity of the situation just so the song flows the right way or has the right appeal?

Human beings can act simple minded sometimes, but we are not simple. We are anything but simple. And as frustrating as it can be, sometimes we are more difficult to explain than we would like or hope for.

~Eliza

My Own Words

I have a new laptop, some new goals for myself, and a lot of wasted time in between now and my last post.

It's not like I haven't been doing anything. I have a lot of new material to work with that I'm very excited about. It's amazing how many things get in the way of living the kind of life that you want to live. Trying to have a social life, trying to survive by working, trying to help other people. It seems that lately everything I have been trying to do has prevented me from actually doing the things that I care about the most. I don't understand how I am going to survive and pursue my dreams at the same time, but I know that it's time for me to gain a new perspective on my life and make those dreams the priorities instead of thinking of them as things that will hopefully work out someday.

And when it comes to my songs, sometimes I forget to hear my own words. What about all I've written about following my dreams? About chasing the things that I really want the most? About focusing on the things that are most important to me?

I give some pretty good advice. Maybe I should try taking my own advice.

~Eliza